I think any guy can attest to what this song is talking about, the fact that all women stare at our family juelz when they checking us out.
I know its all telly and that but its kinda awesome to see a guy skinning and gutting a camel in the sahara and turn it into a temporary shelter. Fuck da haters.
How divine would it be to be able to dine on prized delicacies from another era? Tudor style Frog Blancmange? Alice in Wonderland inspired 5 flavor drinks? Medieval style Bull’s testes? Absolutely mar-vellous darling.
At least that’s what celebs on Heston Blumenthal’s latest telly show on UK’s Channel 4, Heston’s Feasts would have had. Beyond the outrageous unfood-food that he puts on the menu, is his very logical and methodical approach. The feast is a reimagining of what people would have eaten way back in the day during Tudor/Roman/Medieval/Victorian times. His research is based on facts, actually reading through dusty old tomes and then reconstructing the dishes in his own way. Some of the dishes, like the 5 flavored drink, are completely original but he brings this magical, fairytale esque idea into the mix. Combined with his mad scientist presentation, it all falls into place. This guy’s mind is brill.
Just so you know, real bulls (probably post mortem but I’m no expert) had their testes cut off, which were then cooked sousvide before sliced open and restuffed and made to look like a plum. A bull’s plum pretending to be a plum is a plum tart in my book.
*Disclaimer* Not for the squeamish or males. Highly recommended if your idol is Lorena Bobbitt.
On the journey home, as usual, I had a torrid time. This time, I got stuck in the window seat. To my right, was the wing. To my left, 2 cows. They were enormous. I reckon it was safer for me in the window seat as my face might’ve been pummeled incessantly by arses the size of the moon every 5 minutes, given the frequency of their desire to leave the tiny space that was their pen. So I stayed in my own for 7 or 8 hours, watching videos to get by. I only suffered the odd, random elbow in the side or crumbs falling onto the floor below me. I think SIA hates me.
Anyway, one film I caught was a documentary by Louis Theroux, called Law & Disorder In Philadelphia, or Killadelphia, as one local in the show called it. Its an interesting glimpse of a city, supposedly infamous for having one of the higher violent crime rates in the US. You get to see Theroux ambling round with police protection, a bulletproof vest, a pair of acetate frames and a British accent. He goes round, interviewing police, drug addicts, street corner boys and even a supposed druglord with a gold chain with his fake naivete, hoping to disarm people with wide eyed innocence and simple questions.
It works to an extent I suppose. At least you don’t see him threatened. With the cops, he gets rather more direct and at these times, he gets completely direct and unambiguous responses. The basic gist you get from the film is this seemingly unending cycle of “thug” life. One dude had “Born” and “Thug” tattooed on his knuckles. His answer, when queried, was one of utter resignation.
In Philly, there’s only really violence in a smaller contained area. Within this area, drugs are rampant, and this is what most people consider to be the real root of the problem. Because the drugs are on the street, you get prostitution, you get violent crime, you get people all trying to feed this industry and it’s not a problem that’s separated by race either. This shit affects everyone and you get to see this in interviews with a family of a guy that just got shot on the street the day before. Or with the prostitute that earns money just to blow it all on dope. Or the only girl in the show who wants to testify against her sister’s murderer.
“Don’t Snitch” is rule #1. If you close your eyes and pretend nothing happened, it never did. I don’t know why people even bother staying there, why the violence gets so ingrained in them that they just accept it. Maybe its the music, like that Memphis Bleek track on my playlist. Its about a corner boy that gets back in the game again, after getting out of jail, saying “But I swear, we all gon be alright”. Or maybe they just don’t want the change because they see something that’s worth pursuing. I think its a combination of both, in the sense that the good people who were there all along see it as home. At the same time, they’re not used to the idea of change, where they’d have to move, plus they’re also really poor so they couldn’t even if they wanted to. Then there’s the allure of the large wads of cash rolling around on the streets and it seems so easy.
I bought the book before watching the series but I have to say now, that I enjoy both. In search of perfection, is Heston Blumenthal’s show on the telly where he looks at a classic, commonly loved dish and shoots for the perfect rendition of it. Obviously, he would be biased towards his tastes but I’d probably not argue too much with a celebrated 3 Michelin star chef whose restaurant, The Fat Duck is rated at #2 in the world. (Ferran Adria pips him to #1.)
Anyway, the guy fits the mad scientist role pretty well. He’s big and a touch gruff looking but he’s also got these signature glasses custom made by Michel Guillon. His thought processes and style of presentation also makes the show quite enjoyable to watch. Instead of being a recipe show like how most cooking shows are, Blumenthal looks at cooking much like an architect or a designer. He looks at the core problem, researches past information and then tries to solve everything, looking at every detail possible.
You can check out some of his recipes on the beeb.
The lady you see above goes by the name of Tommi Miers. The axe wielding male next to her is Guy Grieves. Together, they are The Wild Gourmets, which is a telly series on the UK’s Channel4 but also shown here in Australia on cable. My latest vice is basically spending an entire day just watching the lifestyle food channel on Foxtel which is really really addictive somehow, more or less how I came across this odd couple.
Back to The Wild Gourmets. Now this pairing like to hunt and forage for food and then cook and eat it, a sort of back to nature kinda vibe with a very honest approach. The episode I watched had warning labels flashing across before it started and I soon found out why when Guy shoots a squirrel dead. We’re told that apparently, they are no more than a “tree rat” and they are more vermin than anything else. An American import to the UK that is causing grief to the local red squirrels.
I’ll put the ethics of prioritizing one species over another down to the survival of the fittest but before I could actually digest my thoughts, Mr. Grieves was then chopping the arms off the squirrel before proceeding to skin and gut it in a particularly brutal fashion. Ms. Miers meanwhile, readied a pot and made a stew of sorts, braising the squirrel meat, before making a sauce out of wild berries, wrapping the squirrel in handmade little pastry circles and pretending that its “Peking Duck”.
I have to say I was taken aback, not least by the no nonsense, guts and all display on camera but also how they were able to actually transform what most people consider to be strange into something that actually looked pretty damn tasty.
Alongside some deliciously rustic recipes they prepare on a campsite, with mostly food culled from mother nature, they spurt musings about environmentalist issues and the human psyche. Its an interesting take on a food program, one that reminds me once more of the cruelty in living. The food isn’t the most amazing but there’s something everyone can learn about receiving all the gifts mother nature serves up.
Typically, when you fly, there’s 2 things you do. One is sleep the whole way through, which is for not me at all. Tiny, uncomfortable space and all that. It is economy after all. Everytime I’ve tried to sleep, I ended up with a headache. So I’ve given up and just opt for the 2nd choice, which is to actually use the in-flight entertainment system.
I flip through the Qantas magazine and there’s a mish-mash of offerings. I was trying to decide between Blades of Glory and going back to option 1 until, thank god, I caught this program tucked away in the business section.
Counter Culture is hosted by the rather suave Tyler Brûlé, Wallpaper* founder. The show isn’t about going against the grain but rather, about retail counters instead. Tyler jets around the world, starting in Russia, then Sweden, Italy, Libya, the US and finally Japan just shopping and talking about it. Lucky bugger.
He charts the spread of globalization and gets to interview people like Miuccia Prada and Sebastien Bergne, asking them what they thought of retail culture in their city. From the “new money” of unshackled Muscovites to the retail obssesed Japanese, its a good look into retail today which raises questions about tomorrow.
The show was made for the Beeb in 2006 and is expectedly, remarkably well shot. The one exception I had to it was when the camera cuts to Tyler during an interview and the dude just has to strike a sudden pose or raise an eyebrow. Quite dramatic.
Good for any one of the following. a.)Retail execs. b.)Retail addicts. c.)Guys looking for fashion tips. d.)People interested in Tyler. e.)Bored air travellers.
