When I’m hungry and lazy to cook, I opt for a kebab. There’s just so many decent kebab places in Sydney, its like their cafes. Almost.

Ok, I’m exaggerating about the decent bit but the idea’s still the same. Kebabs have become my go-to fast food. No I don’t eat Macca’s as the locals call it. Its a doner roll thanks. With the Lot and cheese. Bit of chilli and garlic/sour cream. Yes crispy please. That’s been my mantra on more than one occasion.

Or if I’m feeling like it, I’ll get a lamb shish roll. Now that’s luxury. In terms of time that is. Buggers take 10 minutes to cook but the burnt, blackened edges of lamb cubes with tender flesh inside are quite delightful for the amount you’re paying which is always under AUD$10 for a roll. Yes AUD$10 is a “cheap” meal here in Sydney.

Of course, kebabs are nothing special. Its Turkish fast food; veg, meat if you want, copious amounts of sauce rolled into a crispy bread shell. Its the combination of flavours that makes it interesting to me even if its so commonplace and low brow. Still I think you’d struggle to think of another fast food that employs the right amounts of the 3 food groups and happens to be tasty. I also don’t think you’d have anything like tabouli or hummus either.

Tabouli’s a brilliant herb and tomato salad which is cool cos I’m eating fast food but I get a little bit of gourmet. The hummus is important as well. It helps to hold the food onto the roll as best as it can plus enhance the flavour. When that roll gets toasted up, the juices mix around with the hummus and that’s the delicious goop that keeps slurping out when you chomp into one. I have no idea if kebabs around the world have tabouli and hummus or not but I scoff at people who order kebabs without it when they can. Kinda like that dude today who ordered after me. “A little lettuce, onion and tomato please.” Wimp. Its tabouli+hummus or bust baby.

To go along with satisfying my impatient taste buds and stomach, I picked up some other things chomping down kebabs around the city as well. One is a sweet tooth for Baklava and the other’s a burgeoning interest in Arabic/Turkic/Middle Eastern cuisine. Pistachios, syrup and filo take the cake though. In fact, pistachios just might become my new coconut.

Also, because I think subconsciously, I might have been influenced by Jemaine Clement when he first sang “The Most Beautiful Girl In The Room” in the debut episode of Flight of the Conchords. Which explains the title for this post and represents an excuse (I do like them yes.) to dump another stupid video on my blog and make up for content/post frequency deficiencies.

Take it away Jemaine!

Ps. Skip to ~2:10 for the kebabs.