How divine would it be to be able to dine on prized delicacies from another era? Tudor style Frog Blancmange? Alice in Wonderland inspired 5 flavor drinks? Medieval style Bull’s testes? Absolutely mar-vellous darling.

At least that’s what celebs on Heston Blumenthal’s latest telly show on UK’s Channel 4, Heston’s Feasts would have had. Beyond the outrageous unfood-food that he puts on the menu, is his very logical and methodical approach. The feast is a reimagining of what people would have eaten way back in the day during Tudor/Roman/Medieval/Victorian times. His research is based on facts, actually reading through dusty old tomes and then reconstructing the dishes in his own way. Some of the dishes, like the 5 flavored drink, are completely original but he brings this magical, fairytale esque idea into the mix. Combined with his mad scientist presentation, it all falls into place. This guy’s mind is brill.

Just so you know, real bulls (probably post mortem but I’m no expert) had their testes cut off, which were then cooked sousvide before sliced open and restuffed and made to look like a plum. A bull’s plum pretending to be a plum is a plum tart in my book.

*Disclaimer* Not for the squeamish or males. Highly recommended if your idol is Lorena Bobbitt.