I love Woody Allen’s glasses. Watching Annie Hall and I’m actually not quite done, I’m at the ending but I don’t really wanna find out what happens cos its kinda sad and all that and so I thought I’d just spew some nonsense here instead. I guess I emphathize with Alvy, the lead character in the film, who is cynic central basically. “Neurotic comedian” is his official description and as he puts it, he has a very depressing view on life. People are sorted into 2 categories. The horrible, like the cripples and the blind etc and the miserable, which is everybody else, so be thankful you’re only miserable.

God, I only wish I had half an intellect like Alvy’s. The entire film is smacked with the most caustic lines ever and Alvy can say the meanest shit ever and I wish I’d said all that. The flipside is I also realise I don’t really wanna be Alvy and live on an island (or as my friends call it, a castle) and be neurotic and mean and cynical and hate the world but still live in it and rattle on and on and on without proper punctuation or whatever. Not even gonna comment on the love interest bit of the film. That bit’s just sad. Cos at least Alvy went around and did his thing with a buncha floozies. Me, I’m stuck at home Sunday night typing shit in a computer trying to relate myself to a character which is something my ex-girlfriend used to always chide me about for being predictable and of course it seems pathetic and useless and amateurish but hey, the movie was great.

The film’s really brilliant I have to say. It’s probably the best comedy I’ve ever seen in my life. Not because I idolize neurotic, cynical, self-absorbed, egocentric, pseudo intellectual personalities. That’s besides the point. It’s a triumph in comedy and film. Not least because it feels intensely personal, regardless of whether or not the film is semi-autobiographical or otherwise. Alvy constantly breaks the fourth wall, asking random people on the street about love whilst addressing the audience. This helps the viewer digest all that the character’s struggling with and how we sometimes wish we could just take people aside in a time freeze and resolve issues that would otherwise be left dormant. Or in another scene, we’re transplanted into an animated fantasy where Alvy is having a lover’s tiff with the evil witch from Snow White cos everyone fell for Snow White, but he fell for the evil witch first. It’s hella cerebral on the one hand but just damn funny and it removes every and any inch of cheesiness from romance.

One particular I scene I remember is when Alvy meets Annie and they go out and Alvy stops on the street and asks “Hey listen, gimme a kiss.” Annie asks back, “Really?”. To which Alvy’s reply is, “Yeah, why not, because we’re just gonna go home later, right, and then there’s gonna be all that tension, we’ve never kissed before and I’ll never know when to make the right move or anything. So we’ll kiss now and get it over with, and then we’ll go eat. We’ll digest our food better.”

The lines make the film. From trash talking about LA being clean cos the garbage gets turned into telly or that masturbation is sex with someone you love, it is god mode incisive.

The clip above has Alvy in line with Annie with one helluva dickhead behind him trash talking Fellini, talking about Weltanschauung and shit and just watch how Alvy resolves this in fantasy phase. Just brilliant on so many levels.