This is mostly applied to women in Sydney, although I reckon you’ll find these problems are prevalent elsewhere too. Girls, why do you wear the following?

  • Uggs? I always get the “they’re comfy” answer but the same girls will also jump at a nice pair of heels. Que?
  • Pleather tights. It is horrible when the weakass material gets stretched out and you get this saggy ass look.
  • The Pocahontas headband. Just confuses me. Ethnically and politically.
  • High waisted bottoms. Your waist is where your waist is, not where your tits are.
  • Jeggings. Super stretch anything already looks bad as pants. Why do you want fake denim that is overstretched and wear them underwear as outerwear style?
  • Shorts/Short Skirts in cold weather with leggings underneath. I mean mid thigh at the longest as well. Wrong weather concepts hello?
  • Rabens. Not just girls but people still wear these? The Chinese slave children who make these welcome your charity. $20???
  • Crocs. These are like Uggs, only uglier.
  • Titless chicks wearing maxi dresses. If you ain’t aphrodite, you can’t wear it babe.
  • Country Road duffles. Why does everyone, boy or girl buy these? It’s like the only CR item that anyone buys??? They ain’t cheap either.

I guess I probably know a little too much about chick fashion but I really cannot stand to see most of the shit up there. It’s not that they can’t look good on some girls but most people do it all wrong and some are just totally whack. Guys have shit fashion trends too but they tend to look awful most of the time anyway and I don’t look at guys. I want to delight in the beauty and splendour of the female form and not avert my gaze because it’s shrouded in sartorial depravity.

Do me a favor and burn that shit.