I went to this Korean games cafe, the kind where you can like rent a board game for a couple hours and have some drinks and shit. So it’s pretty pedestrian and kinda no big deal really. However, they do have a $7.90 bowl of papingsu which ain’t too bad. There’s a decent amount of fruit/red bean and stuff and it’s not like 80% ice although the Home brand ice cream is kinda crap but that’s kinda included in the price.

We ordered this coffee version, which they call a coffee eskimo. So it comes with some expresso, shaved ice, red beans, corn flakes, bananas, caramel syrup and vanilla ice cream plus a box of Pepero stuffed into the ice cream like joss sticks. It ain’t the height of gourmet if you catch my drift but for what it is, it ain’t bad at all.

So to get to the gist of things, I was basically munching on the shaved ice x coffee water x corn flakes x bananas in caramel combo and thinking of this dish that me and 2 good mates came up with together. I thought I’d try to recall off the top of my head, the deliciousness that we reckon we might’ve invented.

The basis of the dish came from one mate talking about making banoffee pie at work and me saying how much I wanna chomp on some goreng pisang like right then. So we pretty much put 2 and 2 together. Deep fried banoffee.

The main ingredient is going to be the banana obviously. The texture is paramount although it has to be really nice and banana-ey too of course. The first step is poaching the bananas till translucent so I’m going to assume that I will sousvide the bananas in a bag, with some havana club, kahlua, demerara sugar, cinnamon, star anise and cloves as a basic start point. Although the spice combo might change. Anyway, we wanna get this uber tender and translucent schlong of banananess. I swear I am not obsessed with phallic imagery.

Step two is coating the warm banana in a light batter after freezing it to set. We might possibly introduce a swab of toffee/butterscotch/caramel to help with the applique. For the crunchy bits, I think I’d like to introduce another component instead of plain old flour or batter and use taro instead. So what I end up with a yam puff/wu kok shell. The heat from the fryer would then unfreeze the banana and hopefully turn it into melt status.

So imagine this mildly yam flavored, slightly savoury crispy crunchy exterior holding a banana that had been slow poached in alcohol and spices and sugar and warmed to a point wherein it is being held at a state between liquid and solid. So I place this on a plate of course and it needs a complement and a sauce if I wanted a classic 3 fold combo. So ice cream here would be apt. The banana is ridic rich at this point, so something light and bright could be great or deep and rich to force some insane decadence. I reckon the Bather’s Pav peanut butter parfait is spot on for what I’d like to get. It strikes a great balance between good clean flavor that would complement the bananas, whilst also being very light as well. The sauce would probably be a bright white wine reduction using a sauvignon blanc. Then you’d also have a garnish of salt crusted and mildly spiced peanuts, kinda like the crusted beer nuts you get at bars, only you toss it in caramel and add in some popping candy and honeycomb to get this mad space dust mixture that is spicy and salty and sweet and painful all at once. The garnish would be a wafer thin pane of expresso toffee with like threads of saffron stuck inside.

To present, we drizzle some sauv blanc syrup on the base of a rectangular plate. Then we place the peanut butter parfait at an angle on one end. over this, we drop the banana. Over that goes the peanut dust mix that also comes with some chunky bits and a long thin shard of toffee breaking slightly into the end of the banana, such that some juice is visible.

To eat, you take the pane of toffee and use it to slice open the banana into bite sized pieces. Some of the banana would probably drip onto the plate. So use the toffee to then cut into the parfait and dab at the banana melt and some powder plus the crunchy crust and bam. One mouthful of joy. 10 years of dieting.

God I want one now.