What do all Singaporeans annexed from the country via reasons of study, work, etc etc miss the most? The food. Unanimous would be the answer. If you collected every Singaporean man, woman and child currently not existing in Singapore at the moment, they would chime “The FOOD!” in unison, perfect, crystal clear and totally deafening.

It’s my opinion that the topmost restaurants in the city are ok. I’ve never been to them much. Not gonna drop coin on Iggy’s etc. I don’t need to pop in to know that they will be decent or even good. Every city in the world that has any ambition whatsoever has to have restaurants that are expensive but good. Just don’t see the point when I can get some really dope food for like $5 a meal. That’s the awesomeness that is Singapore. Expensive housing and cars are insanity but hey! Food’s good and cheap. So you get suckered in and work like a slave on low wage but low tax (tax haven status almost!) but your stomach and taste buds are always satisfied and the internet’s fast and transport’s decent and everything just works like it should for the most part. I heard some recent quibbles about traffic and the weirdness of Mio/Starhub football splitting but those jams aren’t that bad and the footie can be had elsewhere. Shopping is ok as long as you’re totally in S/S collections only or streetwear.

But this is all about the food. I spent a good afternoon driving round the island and hit up Bedok for some Ang Ku Kuehs which were quite good. Old Airport Road was also pretty dope. I think I might return to both places. The former for the supposedly amazing Hill Street CKT and the latter for the supposedly amazing Mattar Road Chilli Crab. Both places sourced via Makansutra. I bought a copy see.

I am also relishing to hit up Maxwell tomorrow for some Tian Tian-ness as well as like the 5 million other awesome things that are there. Geylang is up on schedule for wednesday. Particularly for the durians. I am paying top dollar for durians. If you want a 3 star Michelin food experience or some Zagat approved jawn or whatever, the bestest thing in Singapore ain’t some fancy Les Amis or whatever. It’s just down home food centres around the island like all over and like everywhere where you can kop a degu for $100, which translates to about 20 plates of food, shared between maybe 10 people. That works out to about $10 a person and I think you’d be totally stuffed.

I would suggest Old Airport Road or Maxwell or Geylang for starters. Take the latter for instance. Open with some frog’s leg porridge, then shift into some beancurd steez, then some not so great anymore beef hor fun, then some cze cha jawns and then some iced desserts and then durians. You just need to constantly move and find seats and walk a bit and it’s probably a lot more than just $100 but if you skipped the cze cha and just got hawker stuffs, I’d think I’m pretty close to the mark. However, it is my opinion that the price is moot because seriously, even if it were say $300 including drinks to match (milo pengs, bandungs, kopi pengs, soursop juice, sugarcane juice…), it’s still a steal at $30 bucks a person. I think I will try to organize this next time and plan it properly or something. Or what if you got like a convoy and everyone drove around the island. Like do it east side and cover significant areas all together in one night. That would be sick and totally insane. Like imagine the parking problemos! Or the waiting between courses! Or maybe ta bao? Like 10 people buy 1 top class, best in SG dish and degu it all at home! Ok ta bao just ain’t the same.

I dunno if I’m the only nut that thinks up these stupid ideas. Or maybe I should do a one man degu, where I go around the island in one night, stopping and chomping, then driving off to the next place and whatever and documenting every step of it. I think I’d be able to do like 10 courses if it’s like maybe 3 places. Or 40 courses or something. That’s about $120. Imagine. Start with least spicy and light to really spicy and heavy. So maybe some prawn noodle soup or pig’s intestine soup or porridge then move into kuay chap and bak kut teh then the noodles then the proteins then the curries and crabs and spicy stuffs then sweet desserts and finish it all with durian. Most of the time, I’d be wasting plates, serving myself and eating with melamine tableware. There’d be little alcohol and lots of parking to pay and lots of time waiting to park during the peak hours. Yea. I think I’ll practice restraint and just leave this as a thought.

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