Hipster dickhead douchebag movie aside, it made me sad because it cuts so close to the bone. I must rethink my hipster dickhead douchebagginess. Jebus. The following were my OMG! I’m a hipster dickhead douchebag moments in the film.

  • OMG I listen to “Sad British Pop”!
  • OMG I often get led on by girls even though it’s never gonna work. Like EVAR! I then try to “win their love” but only manage their affection, like poor liddle pwuppy concept.
  • OMG I have shit hair.
  • OMG I studied Industrial Design but have opted out to become a chef. My sketch skill level is still shit tho. I do occasionally (like 3 times a year) draw pictures of food or kitchens I want to build. I never build them.
  • OMG My career is stalled (not really but all chefs feel like they work dead end cos sometimes… stuff is just whack)
  • OMG I make WAYYYY too much of coincidences and like serendipity and cosmic wonder light source trip the light fantastic moments like when some Smiths song plays in my headphones and it relates (inaccurately) to how I feel/some situation etc.
  • OMG! I totally like talk about music and films and I actually watch like those old French films plus I even got that Seventh Seal reference. I mean I even referenced the Seventh Seal in my last post for chrissakes. (Notice how I’m casually dropping information about how hipster dickhead douchebag informed I am about whatever on my postmodern blog)
  • OMG I totally dig girls who are hipster dickhead douchebags who take dumps on peoples’ faces/faeces!!!

/wrists.

Thank god I found some un Joseph Gordon-Levitt like things in my life.

  • Like, I’m totally more fabulous. I wear Patrik Ervell for crying out loud. I do totally have like the same Joy Division t-shirt that everyone has except mine’s a cracked screenprint in gray on black. You can hardly tell it’s gray, you would at first glance think it was like I had the OG tee and fucked it up in the wash and was too broke to get a new one. OMG! I am horrid! Horrid!
  • Let’s see I’m sure I can find something that’s dissimilar to the point of tangentiality which would save my embarrassment of finding that my life is as cliched as that of a movie character modeled on fictitious lives of cliched people.
  • Perhaps I should simply embrace the fact that I can’t and should stop the bullets cos I’m just really shooting myself in the foot right now.

Right. Fuck you Joseph Levitt Gordon Moron however you place your fucking name. I am NOT you!!!

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