Yesterday, I’d just scoffed down two Roti Telurs with a Teh Tarik at this place in Far East Plaza before I went up the escalator and headed towards Isetan to meet up with my mom. I was heading down the opposite escalator when I caught a glimpse of Old Chang Kee in the distance, where I’d just come from and thought, “Oh man, I could do a curry puff right now…”. So I went down and then back up across the bridge, much to the amusement of this lady behind me. As I approached the OCK stand, this RGS student sneaked in before me and ordered a deep fried chicken wing. At this point, I realized just how much I missed my home and with it, the food. Everyone in Singapore has been complaining about how trains are breaking down or how we have poor candidates in government or the bad traffic etc etc etc. Seriously guys, who gives a shit when you can still buy deep fried chicken almost anywhere? Get the real issues sorted.

The famous food critic A. A. Gill once wrote that the restaurant is the pinnacle of human civilization. Food, made possible only by the wonders of modern technology, infrastructure networks and the accumulation of knowledge. For me, being able to kop deep fried chicken whenever you want, is a prerequisite for any city with any aspirations whatsoever. A city that would deny such bounty to a growing schoolgirl is a city that should turn to dust.

I’ve been back for a week or so so far. The first 4 and a half days I spent bringing my girl around the place sampling all the usual suspects and everywhere I’ve been, I see deep fried chicken and I don’t mean KFC either. Everywhere son. You got Korean joints bringing dat olive oil steez, you got the old school crunchfests, you got whole chickens unbattered, you got all kinds of deep fried chicken goodness in all kinds of places in all styles. Everywhere you step in Singapore, you have access to the basis of gastronomy: Deep Fried Chicken.

Now, at the end of the day, fried chicken may not be the most amazing thing in the world but it’s something that everyone, chickens included, should have the opportunity to try. It’s too good. If I was a chicken, I would murder my comrades, chuck em in hot rendered chicken fat and then cannibalize em all.

Anyway, I suppose what I’m tryin’ ta say is that all you whiney bitches ought to stop complaining and complaining about every other thing that goes wrong. Shit happens. If you lived somewhere besides Singapore for a bit, you’d realize all those little things that you’d never appreciate before. Like top quality deep fried chicken at every corner for cheap.

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