Singapore’s General Elections just happened. I didn’t vote cos I’m in Sydney and I can’t be arsed to drive 3 hrs to tick a box and then another 1.5 hrs to the Clonakilla winery to drop bills on Shiraz Viognier before getting caught for drank driving on the way back. Point is, my vote (which I will not disclose) wouldn’t change anything anyway. But mostly, yea, petrol costs money bro.

In Singapore, we have the same party that’s been in power since… ever. Which has run the country pretty well I’d say. Third world to first despite the teething troubles. The ruling PAP even managed to increase the win percentage despite the oodles of tripe I see on facebook from people with as much clue as Alicia Silverstone 2 decades back. Look, I’m not saying that the opposition party(ies) are useless but the opposition party(ies)… Maybe someone should legally change their name to Deeez Nutz and campaign.

I digress. So in my home country, there is this continued steady consistent leadership that by and large, manages the country reasonably well, at the expense of some small concessions like absolute freedom of speech and the ability to sell chewing gum if you’re not a qualified pharmacist. Let’s ignore the bigots like the hella geek youtube boy or the hide behind the internet people or random facebook groups with dumbass names. Singapore is movin’ on because it’s really not that bad. At all. Like seriously, the shit you complain about is so first world problems.

Contrast with say, the U.S where a guy with a combover is trying to run for president. A combover! What next? A guy named after a Dr. Dre track? “Daddy, if I’ve got nuts on my chin, are they chin nuts?”.

Or maybe Australia? Which just had yet another leadership spill. See in Australia, you don’t vote the PM, you vote the party, usually one of two unless you’re super xenophobic and dumb or you think you’re an environmentalist. So the ruling party just decided to re-vote who gets to lead the party and hence become prime minister. The public doesn’t get to vote on this. The public though voted that party into power at the last elections. Over 50% of people must have felt that choosing the lesser of two evils involved accepting the fate that Tony Abbott would be PM. This is a damning indictment on Labor. Damning. The Libs put a clown as it’s poster boy and won. Almost like they knew they would, so they’re sending this idiot in to rub it all over your pleb faces whilst they smoke their fucking cigars and get their daughters university scholarships whilst also trying to restructure the university system into a public free for all pricing fuckfest. Like fuck you. You voted me into power. Watch me rape this country for all it’s worth and you can watch!

The silver lining is that the baboon is no longer in charge of Australia. The downside is that the NBN (Nonexistent Broadband Network) exists and the new PM came up with that idea, which blew out in costs and time etc. At least he seems like he has a brain attached. Minus the NBN plan where he decided that FTTN is better than FTTH because cheaper. Except more expensive. But it’s better! Just slower and kinda 3rd world. I have comparatively quick internet connection speed (Oz wise anyway) because I live in a new apartment block. This is crucial for Game of Thronage but It’s like 25ish Mbps down. I think most first world countries have 100+Mbps or some approach 1Gbps or whatever. In real terms, you can’t do liverstream, super high rez tentacle porn in Australia. Also, the Australian dollar is worthless! Oh and um, economic downturn.

What I’m saying is that in Singapore, the choice is nearly obvious. You can spend time listening to the Worker’s Party and you could move/live to/in Potong Pasir, which is kinda like Malaysia, or you could pay for overpriced subsidised modern public housing and moan about it all your life but grudgingly do it anyway like the peon that you are. You could also, flee the despotic regime and move to a country where real freedom and democracy exists and the television will broadcast scenes of children bickering over who called someone or other a nasty name in parliament and your tax dollars go into the drain to pay for helicopters and cab rides to and from one football match to another charity fundraiser. All this whilst nothing gets fucking done. Except empty slogans and bullshit and a one track economy which just got mad exposed.

I’m living the dream down under. Where people are so poor, they eat yeast extract on sour bread and it took over 2 years to rid the nation of an embarrassment that like wearing “budgie smugglers” whilst winking over a radio call in at a pensioner who works a phone sex line. At least the Lees of this world just get on with shit. If you listened to virtually all Australian politicians talk, you’d think you were in a mental institution. The only human ones will never win majority popular vote because they’re either LGBT or ethnic minority or not part of the establishment boy klub or some combination of the three.

Let’s not even get into who votes for the idiots and how the hell people can stand the childish behaviour of it’s national representatives or the fact that entire media businesses run on satirising the politics to a point where the harsh painful reality is so true and you laugh but it also hurts, deep in the psyche but you also have the nagging realisation that this purgatory will likely never pass and the torch just goes from one brainless silver spooned sack to another.